“How is Counseling Different Than a Friend for Hire?” 

Has anyone contemplated counseling, only to pause and say to oneself, “How sad is it that I don’t have friends or family with whom to discuss this?”

If so, this post is for you. 

Many people have the misconception that counseling is the same as talking to a good friend or close family member. However, it differs in several key ways..

Counseling is seeking the guidance of an experienced mental health professional who has been trained in techniques for helping clients to make informed decisions, ameliorate symptoms of emotional distress, and to repair or restore broken relationships. A good counselor won’t tell you what to do, but guide you to the best decision for you.

Counseling gives you someone who is skilled at reflective listening to help you develop new perspectives on your stressors and life situations. A counselor helps you to change from having a hopeless and stuck mentality to feeling a renewed sense of self-efficacy and emotional energy.

At the outset of your counseling, a counselor will work with you to develop clear goals and objectives for your sessions so you and the counselor know when progress is being made, and if things need to be changed up to provide maximum effectiveness. 

A counselor is skilled at helping you put your rational mind back in charge of your emotional mind. In other words, the thinking, logical parts of our brains can be taught to override some of our primitive emotional defense mechanisms like fight, flight or freeze, panic attacks, depression and more. 

A good counselor will teach you self-compassion and how to nurture yourself. They will help you silence that highly critical voice in your head that tell you you aren’t good enough or that you are hopeless and helpless to change your circumstances.

The essence of good counseling is to get you to a place where you feel confident and powerful in your own skin and in your own life. 

To get you started on this path, below, you will find a link to the web site of the founder of the self-compassion movement, Dr. Kristen Neff, PhD.

She shares articles about self-compassion, the rationale for why it works, exercises, meditations, and other practices.

Remember, counseling is a gift you give yourself to become the best version of you that you can be.

Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff: Join the Community Now